You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
