u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
