i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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