I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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