Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
