you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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