Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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