it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works