Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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