what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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