I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
