So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm both gender and math confused
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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