Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
