And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
