Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
