I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
