sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
