i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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