About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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