just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
