Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
