i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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