And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
