The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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