it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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