with your own penis?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
