Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
