I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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