Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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