She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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