There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Randomize
