Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
