I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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