But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
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A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
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just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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