apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
