It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
You did what with his pubic hair?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
