God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
