i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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