i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
