Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
