Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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