New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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