i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
