you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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