Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
