You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize