i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
this boner is exhausting
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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