Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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