She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
