i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
