just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
it glows. i had to have it.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
