She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
