What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize
