Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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