how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
